You know that couple. The one that seems so happy and so in love, even after they have kids. (Lol) They are the envy of others. They want to be together. They want to sit at the dinner table next to each other. They talk to each other. These couples are happy and healthy. But how do they do it? What’s their secret? It must be natural to them. No that is not true. To keep your relationship happy and healthy, there are some things you must do together to keep that bond, that emotional connection. Remember the saying marriage takes work? It is true. But it isn’t hard, or time consuming or impossible to maintain. Do you want the secret? Do you want to improve your relationship? Here are some ways that healthy and happy couples stay connected:
- Physical Touch: These couples touch each other on a regular basis. Whether it’s holding hands, walking arm in arm, they do this morning, day and night. Hug your partner, kiss them hello in the morning and goodbye when they leave for work, and in bed try to stay connected by touching feet, hands or “spooning,” for a little before turning around and going to sleep.
- Communicate: Communication is very important in your relationship. It’s a way to know what is going on in your partner’s world. Find out what is going well for them, what stresses them, and anything they might need your support with. I recently heard Dr. Gottman, who is a leading psychologist in the field of marriage counseling and he said ask your partner what their dreams are. Do you know your partners’ dreams for the future?
- Fun: Happy and healthy couples have fun! They find an activity that they like to do together and do it on a regular basis, like, going for a walk, playing tennis, or dancing! They spend time together on a regular basis. Also, they understand that they both need their time and space alone for a little while and then they reconnect after they have recharged their batteries.
- Repair and Reconnect: They also have issues or problems come up just like every other couple. They get mad and hurt each other. But these couples are able to quickly repair and reconnect by listening to each other, understanding each other and apologizing when they need to for each other.
Happy and healthy couples do several things to stay happy and connected. They put the work and effort in to maintain their connection. They touch each other often. They communicate on a daily basis and several times a day. They have fun together often. And finally, they know how to repair and reconnect when they have an issue come up between them. As I said, it isn’t hard, or time consuming or impossible. You deserve a happy and healthy relationship. You deserve to feel loved.
If you are already doing these things, that is great! Keep it up! But if you are feeling distant or not connected to your partner, talk to your partner and read this article together. Make a plan to improve your relationship by doing these tips I gave you. If you have a hard time doing them on your own, please call me and make an appointment, I would be happy to help!